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some more random bar jokes, courtesy fark:

an englishman, scotsman and irishman are sitting in a pub together and each orders a guinness. after waiting the requisite time for the proper pouring, the three guinnesses arrive at their table.
just then, three flies that came in with the frenchman at the next table simultaneously take a dive, separately into each man's drink. the trio are taken aback for a second but regain their composure.
the englishman waves to the bar maiden and asks for a fresh pint.
the scotsman plucks the fly from his guinness and he continues drinking.
but the irishman grabs the fly, holds it above his drink and shouts "SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!"

this guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. he sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. about half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" the first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. when you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "wow!" exclaims the second man, "i gotta try that!" so he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. the bartender looks over to the first man and says, "superman, you're a jerk when you're drunk."

two atoms walk out of a bar. one of them says to the other, "i gotta go back in; i forgot an electron in there." the other one says, "are you sure?" the first replies, "yes, i'm positive."

...and my favorite...
two muffins are in an oven. one muffin looks at the other muffin and says, "hey, it's getting a little hot in here, isn't it?"
the other muffin says:
"EEAAAAAAAHHHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"